This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My feet surprised me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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