I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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