I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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