I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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