I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
