Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
