That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
