i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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