it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it's great music for shaving your balls
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
