I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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