she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my poor anus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
