just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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