Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize