so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
