Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Mom said you looked used
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
