This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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