when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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