Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
