eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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