He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
