im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
