I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
