I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
