You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
