We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize