In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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