She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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