I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
