with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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