I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
