You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
