I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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