i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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