You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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