Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can I color on your dick again?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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