$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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