Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
