And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize