i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
