if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
