One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
