he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
