but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
