i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
