just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
