I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize