She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
