Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I look better un-naked...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
