I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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