Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
