today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
