she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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