What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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