White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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