the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
