Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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