Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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