actually, I'm a sock model
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she pinky promised me she was 18
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
