I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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